It Takes a Village….

Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes a village?”  For many years, I believed that when people used those four words, they were referring to raising children.  While that may be where the phrase originated, my view of how that phrase applies to so many other areas has changed drastically. 

Whether you have children or not, married or single, you are impacted daily by “your tribe” and their influence on your life.  Your tribe is the group of people that you choose to surround yourself with.  For moms, this tribe may initiate from the natural relationships that develop surrounding your children and their schedules; carpooling, playdates, and helping with errands.  There is no question, in my crazy and amazingly active, blended family, working mom life, I could not do what I do without the physical help of some very amazing women.  But ultimately, you create your circle and have the choice to allow in the support-filled, grace-giving, uplifting women, and block out the judgmental, negative, toxic people that constantly tear you down.   

We all have so many lies ingrained in our noggins, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not loved,” “I’m not important.”   Any of those sound familiar?  When our lies creep in, we all need more than “physical support.”  All of us yearn to feel the opposite of our lies; acceptance, love, grace, accomplishment.  Personally, I want so badly to know 100% that I am a good mom, wife, and friend, but that is not possible to feel when whispers of judgement flow through your village from mouths of the people you trust.  

In just the past month, I have felt and heard the judgement from women that I allowed into my tribe and trusted with my family.  Judgement about parenting, my workout routine, my summer travel schedule.  The result has been that I have made myself small to make others around me more comfortable, not allowing myself to be placed in a position of potential judgement.  I have taken a summer-hiatus from social media, I’ve stopped posting to my blog, and I have been working out by myself or just with my hubby.  Ridiculous!  I miss myself, and all of the imperfections that come with me!  

These judgmental experiences have the ability to bring each of us to our studs, but only if we allow them to.  Where your attention goes, your energy flows.  I’m choosing to place my focus on the grace-giving, bucket-filling members of my tribe instead of living out of fear of the judgement from others.  That focus is propelling me to deeper connection to my tribe and is allowing me to feel free to be myself again.     

We ALL are doing the best can.  You are doing it right, you are enough, you are important, and you are loved.  During times when you question that and feel exposed, focus on your tribe members that will give grace and remind you of those truths.  We each have the ability to be graceful and uplifting, and to welcome that from others.  Who are you choosing to surround yourself with in your village?     


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